Starting a brush collection - out with the old, in with the new!

I've been obsessed with makeup brushes for almost a year. No! Longer than that, but it's about a year ago that I started to plan what I wanted, needed and was actually going to get. I've probably started, redone and scrapped a hundred lists of "my perfect brush collection".

My general philosophy about makeup is less is more, except you often don't realize how much goes into the "less". What I mean by this is I use makeup to camouflage or correct my imperfections and to enhance my better features, and in order to do this, I like to use higher end products. High end cosmetics have a lot more research and care put into their formulation and are less likely to cause any sort of bad reaction. They tend to have a more beautiful finish and better lasting power. Also, they're just a joy to apply. I guess for me this is the "more" aspect of my philosophy.

What I mean by "less", for me, it really is a matter of quality versus quantity. I'd rather have one YSL lipstick than an assortment of Rimmel and Maybelline ones that would cost as much, in virtually identical shades of pink. There are makeup products I've found that are my one and only, they're just so good, I will repurchase them forever and really can't see myself ever switching to another brand over being disappointed by them. I think this is my overall goal - to find "the one" in every product I use and just love and stick to it. Maybe it's because I have so many products that I've struggled and still struggle to find, when I think about the hassle of wandering between counters not finding anything... Especially if you're close to running out of whatever ill-matched product you compromised for before, the idea of going out there again, knowing there's nothing, is so depressing. Likewise, the idea of one day not having to worry about that, being able to repurchase something (everything!) without bothering to try it on or to just order it online, seems so nice and relaxing, I can't wait! But so far, some products remain illusive to me, much like the perfectly fitting 32DD strapless bra.

This is the same philosophy I've applied to, finally, starting my high end makeup brush collection. I've been thinking about this so much it's crazy. You'd think I had a degree in higher mathematics if you heard how many collection combinations I've considered and crunched the numbers on. Sometimes I wonder if the stress this is causing me is worth the money I'm potentially saving on trying to avoid a disappointing purchase. Probably not. I mean honestly, the amount of time I spend worrying about this is idiotic... This is supposed to be fun! 

First of all, should I even have nice brushes? I mean, really, who am I? A Chikuhodo brush is the brush equivalent of driving a Pagani for fun on a track, having an Aprilia for thrills and a selection of Arais with custom artwork, splitting your time between an apartment in New York with views overlooking Central Park and another in the VI Arrondissement, both featuring walk-in closets with walls of Jimmy Choos, Chanel bags and hidden compartments concealing personal treasures by Van Cleef & Arpels, Tiffany, Harry Winston and Cartier. I can tell you right away, I have none of those! Would I like to? Um, yeah! But life is what it is and maybe it's incredibly foolish to be this attracted to things so far beyond my reach, but I'm not entirely sure I can help it. Something I've learned over the years is that a lot of wealthy people are incredibly unappreciative, classless and cheap. Fact. I wouldn't allow such a person even to hold a Z-1, even if they could afford to buy the entire line without so much as blinking. What gets to me is that a lot of people buy the most expensive of everything for no other reason than to show off. They don't care who made it and how, they don't bother to take proper care of it and will probably forget all about it once it's been displayed and played with a few times. Whereas someone like me, someone who is fanatic about make and craftsmanship, I would (and do) love, cherish and appreciate my nice things with close to as much care as the people who created them. Capitalism has a tendency to shake things up and sometimes the world is unfair...  So maybe it's not entirely preposterous for me to covet and obtain a collection of fine makeup brushes? 

There I was, thinking of which ones I wanted, imagining myself in a gorgeous boudoir with mirrored furniture and fine, still unmade sheets of Egyptian cotton on the bed, myself in a silk kimono robe, sitting at a stunning vanity, gazing at my modest collection of beautiful brushes, hidden under a glass dome cover... The jet-setter I imagined I was, obviously would need two sets, one on the vanity, the other for globetrotting. Logically, one would obtain the primary collection first, then the travel one. Then it hit me. This room doesn't exist and the person in it isn't me. "Stop daydreaming and think more practically!" I told myself.    

Besides money being an issue in a young person's life, so is my current situation. As mentioned, that boudoir doesn't exist, neither does that vanity, or any vanity for that matter, on which to proudly display my collection. Not that I can say I travel enough to have a separate collection just for that either, but I am a kind of nomad. I'm not sure where I'm going, when or how, but I do know that where I am now is temporary. So it suddenly made all the sense in the world to start with that collection instead. I wanted to come up with a list of very portable, practical, exceptional quality brushes, no more or less than I needed. You know how we scale down the amount of products we use when on a trip or on holiday? And somehow we manage to achieve the same result with less? Well, if I could go on a glamorous trip around the world and still manage flawless, thoroughly enjoyable makeup application for both day and evening looks, why on Earth not just get that minimized set of tools to begin with and use it daily, even when I'm home?

I should probably say that as a designer, an object to me has to be both practical, well made and aesthetically pleasing, especially if it's expensive. All of those criteria have to be met if you want my business. Just saying. So I should probably elaborate on what I find aesthetically pleasing in brush design. Well. I prefer a slender black handle that becomes narrow at the tip. Narrow, but not pointy, for example the Chikuhodo GS series, for me, is overkill. I really don't like handles that are of the same thickness from ferrule to tip, or worse, ones that widen. Just, no... I like when ferrules don't have the pinched rings around them, when they're black or some unusual metal (although that's not a deal breaker) and I really don't like for the handle to be a natural wood colour (like Ecotools or Bobbi Brown). Perhaps this is because I use regular artist's brushes a lot for painting and sketching and I feel like there needs to be a distinction between the two based on purpose. That's what most of my brushes for painting look like - light wooden handle, pinched silver ferrule etc. What else... Not really that into colour. Or clear acrylic. You've probably figured out by now that I've drastically narrowed down my options. "Good!" was my first thought, until I started really looking and realized perhaps I'd narrowed it down too much based on design alone... Mac was out, Nars was out, Bobbi Brown, Sue Devitt, most of Chikuhodo's lines, at least half of Hakuhodo's... Out, out, out! 

At that moment, and still, to me the epitome of flawless brush design has got to be the Suqqu face brush. Their cheek brush is pretty too, but they lose me with the rest of the line (the handle no longer becomes narrow at the tip with the smaller eyeshadow etc brushes, so I can't in all sanity say they would be worth the cost to me personally). And the other ones that I liked, way back when I began my search, were some lines from Hakuhodo and Laura Mercier. These were my favourites before this concept of looking for brushes that should travel well. Back then I wanted a long, impractical handle - you know, to feel like I was really doing something, as if my daily application of makeup was some sort of ritual. I used to really not like small handles on brushes, despite all my makeup artist friends saying that's what they actually preferred. Slowly but surely this changed. Partly because I reassessed my needs and also because I realized a lot of the best Japanese brands out there made brushes with shorter handles by default. By now I have a pretty certain idea of what I want. I'm going to have a little dainty collection that I will love and care for and take with me wherever life takes me =).

Before I introduce the first two brushes in my new collection, a bit of background about my first and up till recently, only brushes. I remember precisely when I got my first brush. The year was 2004 and they'd just completed the construction of a brand new shopping center in the heart of Tallinn called Viru Center. So many new shops and brands entered the market, ones I'd never even heard of before. One was Makeup Store, The Body Shop was another. The following Christmas I received my first ever powder eyeshadow from Makeup Store as a present (I'd only had one other eyeshadow, a cream one from Maybelline and used my fingers to apply it. It lasted forever! I never used it up, nor did it dry up... It just sort of separated and spoiled eventually). I wasn't allowed to buy it myself, neither would my parents buy it for me - their singles retail for around 12€ and that was just too expensive. So I picked a shade and hinted to my best friend that it's something I would really love to get as a present for Christmas. And I did! Obviously I needed a brush to apply it. I really liked the Makeup Store brushes, they're just the sort of classical shape I like, but they were really expensive (for me). The only brushes I knew of were ones that came with products or others of very questionable origin and appalling quality you'd see sold in supermarkets and bazaars. It was baffling to me that an eyeshadow brush cost essentially as much as the eyeshadow itself! What a ripoff! I agonized so much over which brush to get and ended up choosing one from The Body Shop. My mother thought I was insane for spending something like 10€ on a brush. I didn't care, I felt like such a lady. After a while however, this brush, something I considered a personal achievement, proved to be a very disappointing purchase. The bristles on the sides started sticking out, interfering with the application (I cut some of them off later because it was so bothersome), it was simply too small, the shape of the handle that I wasn't particularly keen on started to really annoy me, and the plastic it was made of began to deteriorate within months.

I stopped using my first brush after a few years when I received my second one, but the process had become enjoyable long before. The second brush, another eyeshadow brush, was also synthetic, but bigger and easier to work with. I liked the shape better, but that's not saying much. Of all the brushes I've owned, I've hated that one the most. It is of unknown make or origin. The way I obtained it was my mother found it at work, brought it home, I cleaned it up and proceeded to use it. Gag, roll your eyes - sorry, it is what it is. I'll just go ahead and get it out of the way and say that's exactly how I got my third brush, an unremarkable, coverless lip brush, too. That one is just functional for scraping out hard to reach leftover product, that's about it. The eyeshadow brush however is quite vile. I guess it used to have a rubberized handle, but the coating had come off in chunks and dirt and shadow would stick to it and not come off entirely, no matter how hard I tried to clean it. The bristles were unbelievably hard, like a broom, almost no give at all, and I still remember how one side had a few hairs that were razor sharp and would hurt and irritate my lid whenever I used it. Oh it was dreadful. But I suffered and used it for something like five years! I think I tolerated it because what I thought was supposed to have been a high quality, expensive brush, was a complete disappointment, so I figured the process would be unpleasant no matter the tool, so might as well be that one. When I started learning more about brushes, that's when I truly started to resent it. I actually remember tossing it across the room a couple of mornings once I was done with my eyeshadow because it would anger me how unpleasant it was to work with. Needless to say, I was in the market for a new eyeshadow brush above all else.

My fourth and final old brush was another disappointment. I don't know what came over me to make the same mistake twice. This was a relatively recent purchase, early spring of 2012. At the time my skin was beginning its downwards spiral, I was using a foundation meant for dry skin and couldn't figure out why I was so shiny and oily all the time. I was going through powder at twice the speed I used to, at least. I'd never had a powder brush, I always applied it with the sponge or puff that came with the compact, but always dreamt of getting one. Because I was going through so much product, I finally justified getting a brush by thinking it would apply powder more economically. I didn't have a lot of money and found myself in the exact same position I'd been with my first brush. Makeup Store vs The Body Shop. The difference in price was just a couple of Euros and to me it seemed like an absolute fortune. You'd think those were the only two brands available, right? Well, almost. As I mentioned, there were a few cheap generic brands on offer, there were some brushes at Chanel and Dior counters (and others like them), also, by that time we had Mac. I didn't know anything much about Mac and couldn't understand why it was so expensive (little did I know it was actually affordable by comparison), luxury brands were even more out of my price range and thus I honestly thought I was making a good decision and getting a good midrange brush. I went for the the Body Shop one, again (2€ is after all a days worth of food, so it's the price that I based my decision on). What is the matter with me? Everything I loathed about the first one, this one had too. It's a soft, synthetic brush, but I just loathe how enormous, cheap and uncomfortable its handle is. The metal they used to make the ferrule is terrible too - every bump and scratch shows. Also, I don't think it should be branded as a powder brush at all. I don't know what I would use it for, but it's too flat, not dense or fluffy enough to work well with powder. The only time it feels really pleasant is when I'm washing it. When it's all slimy with shampoo and I swirl and glide it along my hand. I couldn't possibly throw it away even once I've replaced it, but perhaps I'll use it for applying masks and oil treatments or something. Oh well...

So there they are, my miserable little bunch.

Left to right: The Body Shop powder brush; the nameless, worst eyeshadow brush ever; The Body Shop eyeshadow brush; the lip brush of unknown origin. 

Now, after nearly two years of wanting, I've finally started getting the things I want. I've picked, chosen, researched and agonized over which brushes to get like a mentally ill person. Honestly, no one should agonize so much over something this unimportant. Not that it's not important, but it's not "important" important. I blame my strange indecisiveness. I can make a very quick creative decisions on the spot (like in an improv group exercise - thinking of three unconventional uses for apples, telling a story from a tree's perspective etc), but it'll take me 30 minutes at a supermarket to pick a tooth brush as I pick it's design apart and try to decide which one I find slightly less disappointing. If I'm purchasing an item of clothing and they have more than one in my size, I may spend an hour examining each stitch, seam and thread, considering the severity of each imperfection in comparison to the other... Oh it's a miserable existence! And the longer I take to make a decision, the more anxious and stressed out I become. So, when I say I've been thinking about which brushes to get for nearly two years, you can imagine I'm a right nervous wreck!

Despite having changed my mind about what to get so many times, I'm quite happy that the very first brush I ended up getting was almost exactly what I wanted from the very start. From the very beginning some of my favourite brushes based on their looks were by Laura Mercier. Back then I wanted two brushes - a bigger, fluffier one for applying an allover wash of nude shimmer, and a smaller, more precise one for colour. The original two LM brushes I wanted were the eye colour brush and the pony tail. When I decided I wanted to come up with a compact, portable set of brushes, I started looking for double ended brushes. Temporarily I considered this for powder and foundation too, but no, those look a tad grotesque to me. If you look at holiday and travel sets, most double ended brushes are meant for eyes. Shouldn't be too hard to locate an appropriate brush for my needs then, right?

My problem with the vast majority of them is they'll have a usable brush on one end, and a very specific, often quite useless one on the other. These useless (to me) ends would most commonly be eyeliner, angled crease brushes, cream eyeshadow (I don't entirely think you need a separate one for that), eyebrow brushes... I understand that just because I wouldn't have a use for them, doesn't mean someone else wouldn't, but consider the concept - double ended, portable, minimalist. I'm guessing the person who wants these would appreciate the ability to create a classic look with just the one brush, and someone who would use 8 different brushes just for eyes, probably doesn't mind having them all with separate handles. Just a thought. As tempting as many beautiful limited edition holiday sets were, I simply couldn't justify an entire set of say 8 brushes if I would actually have a use for just two. This prompted me to search for odd brushes that may have been part of a holiday set on eBay. After a few weeks of looking, I couldn't believe my eyes - there it was, the perfect brush: double ended Laura Mercier, one end- eye colour, the other- pony.

At the time it was the only one available, while there were quite a few merchants offering a variety of other, "useless" (again, to me) dual ended brushes by LM. It's shorter than any other dual ended brush I've seen by LM, but I didn't care. I couldn't get over what a perfect combination I'd found! Soon after I purchased mine, another one emerged on eBay and I learned about it's origin. Turns out this brush was part of the Laura Mercier limited edition Colour Preview Collection for the summer of 2012. So, not even some travel brush set, making it really unique. 

Having read and heard about high quality brushes so much, I expected it to be the softest thing ever, and to be honest, at first I was disappointed that it wasn't. Until I started using it that is. The colour end is worlds apart from anything I'd ever used for eyeshadow before. It picks up the perfect amount of product, not a spec more than it can carry, there's absolutely no fallout (something I had an abundance of issues with before) and it applies colour in a sheer but buildable manner, making it very easy to use. The pony end is divine for blending! The end is quite airy and whipped, like a souffle. The difference in volume of the brush head when it's being washed and wet is staggering. But I think it's this rather low density and subtle frizziness of the hairs that make it so good for blending eyeshadow. You literally apply almost no pressure at all in a back and forth or swirling motion and instantly the edges become blurred and airbrushed. Makes my heart sink when I think how hard I used to pull on the delicate skin around my eyes when blending shadow with my fingers before =(.

All in all, it's exactly what I wanted and the perfect dual ended brush for my daily nude shimmer look. The colour end is great for laydown, cream shadow, smudging shadow or liner on the lower lashline, and the pony, though meant for crease work, is great for blending and an overall wash of shimmer. Such a little multitasker! The only thing I'd change about it is the length of the handle. I wish it were as long as some other LM dual ended brushes. If it were the overall length it is with separate heads, it would be fine, but as it is I find myself holding on to the ferrule, close to the bristles of the opposite end, which is a bit uncomfortable and restricting, my wrist could do with a bit more freedom. Other similar brushes I've discovered since are the Stila (which I passed on because it's a bit too long for my liking), the RMK (which, though it has a pony end, is a different shape and the brush is really meant to be dual purpose for different formulations - powder and cream, so, not quite the same) and the Urban Decay Good Karma eyeshadow brush that comes in their Naked palette (which I'm sure you could find on it's own on eBay, or with the palette, whichever suits your needs). But overall I like mine the best and am super happy I waited as long as I did, because I ended up finding exactly what I wanted.

Shiseido Perfect Foundation Brush & Laura Mercier eye colour/pony tail brush.

The second brush I got was the Shiseido Perfect Foundation Brush, which I described in adoring detail in my previous post. I still absolutely love it! I wash it with mild shampoo in warm water after each use. The only, minor, issue I have with it, is that Shiseido say it's for all formulations... Except for water proof/water resistant ones, which one of the foundations I currently use as a tone adjuster, is. While the shampoo gets most of the foundation off, the white residue of the tone adjuster sticks to the bristles. What I did every time I washed it when I first realized this, is I applied the same method I use to get the stuff off my face - olive oil. First shampoo, then olive oil, then shampoo again. Then I realized the first shampoo wasn't really necessary. And then about a week into having the brush, I realized the bristles REALLY disliked olive oil! I noticed the bristles would appear thicker and as if they had a waxy coating on them, which would be the oil. I immediately stopped doing this with each wash and instead use the oil about once a week to get rid of the buildup of the water resistant formula on the bristles. It takes another couple of regular washes to get rid of the oil completely, but afterwards it's good as new!

Phew... So that's my journey! So far! As I said, by now I pretty much have my collection planned out. The plan is (was... yes, my eye has strayed already!) to get a total of six very portable and functional brushes. That's how many I feel I need after considering my style, technique and specific needs. That doesn't sound like a lot, but when you compare it to my previous "collection" of brushes, even that is quite the upgrade. I've ordered the next two brushes and hopefully, before long, I'll be able to share what in my view is a great, basic collection of exceptional quality brushes, for just about any daytime or evening look. TTFN =).